Top 10 Ways to Build Confidence

 

Have you ever looked at someone and admired how confident they are? Confidence is an ability that can be learned and with a little practice, you can overcome your fears and learn a skill which will help you all walks of life, from doing well at an interview to speaking in public. 

Here are our top 10 tips to build your confidence. 

1. Set goals and get stuff done. Accomplishing tasks either big or small will change your overall mood. Lifting your mood automatically, helps you stand prouder, even when you speak you will come across as happier and more confident.
2. Be positive and visualise. Sound simple doesn’t it? It is fact that if you have a positive outlook, your mood changes, as does the mood of everyone around you. If you take time and visualise a positive outcome of a situation, you are far more likely to succeed. Sports professionals, entertainers, public speakers etc, practice this frequently.
3. Internalise. Confidence comes from within. Really think about what confidence is and what it means to you. If you fear failure, challenge what failure would mean, how are you able to pick yourself back up again. As soon as you realise that you can bounce back with no trouble, the fear will subside.
4. Posture. Work on your posture, shoulders back, chin up, chest out. Confident people will always have great posture. Not only will you look more confident, your voice will be louder and clearer.
5. Reward yourself. Praise and recognise your achievements. If you won a big contract or got the job you wanted, celebrate your success. It doesn’t have to be anything lavish, just something that marks your achievement.
6. Appreciate yourself. It is easy to be critical of ourselves, but when did you actually sit down and think about how great you are? Grab a pen and paper and list your qualities and achievements.
7. Talk to yourself. You may feel silly doing talking to yourself, but having a dialogue with your reflection is a great way to build confidence. Tell yourself that you are amazing and confident and you can do this!
8. Live in the present. It is easy to fret about something that hasn’t even happened, which causes you stress that you don’t even need. Be in the moment and let things happen. As soon as you release the worry, you will feel lighter and more in control.
9. Practice eye contact. Next time you speak to someone be conscious of how much eye contact you hold or don’t hold. Being aware of our body language is a powerful tool to have at your disposal. We do it without even thinking and we read the signals that it gives out from others. Recognising positive body language signals will help you appear far more confident.
10. Be yourself. Our individual personalities, tell people what we are all about. You can learn to be confident, but stay true to yourself. Don’t try to be someone you are not. It is fine to aspire to be like someone but ultimately your confidence is yours to own and embrace. 

Body Language – The unspoken communicator

 

Body Language – The unspoken communicator

Body language is our non-verbal way of expressing our thoughts and feelings. We gesture with our body and use facial expressions without even realising it. Being aware of how we use our body language is a powerful tool when it comes to the art of negotiation and persuasion and will help fully engage your listener/s.

Once you learn how to use your body language, you will naturally be able to read others which will help you gauge situations quickly and adjust your behaviour as necessary. This is great in meetings especially if you are needing to really capture the attention of who you are talking to.

Here are some top tips to consider when you are in your next meeting or giving your next presentation or speech.

1.      Use open body language – make sure your arms are unfolded and your hands are unclenched. This shows the listener that you are being open and will help convey honesty and integrity. If you have to deliver bad news or face a difficult meeting where there is the potential of a sticky situation, you will most likely see your audience with arms crossed, facing away from you and not making eye contact. If you mirror their behaviour then you will hit a stalemate. By showing you are open allows them to feel more at ease and they are far more likely to engage.

2.      Make eye contact – No matter if you are speaking to one person, a few people or a whole room full of people, eye contact is important. Of course, there is a fine balance between holding eye contact with the same person for too long and not holding it for long enough. Too long and you are in a creepy staring match, not long enough will make you appear disengaged. A few seconds at a time is more than adequate. If you speaking to a room full of people then pick out people left, right and centre and alternate every few seconds.

3.      Avoid touching your face and fidgeting – If you frequently touch your face or fidget you will come across as being uncomfortable, untrustworthy, dishonest and shifty. It really won’t matter how great your subject is if you let your body language contradict what you are talking about.

4.      Use open hand gestures – Be careful to not overdo the gestures with your hands, this can be distracting from what you are saying. Having your hands opened palmed will convey openness, sharing and trust. Unless you are putting across a serious issue and it is intentional. Never point, this will show aggression and will turn your audience right off.

5.      Smile – Unless you are delivering bad news of course! The simple act of smiling will show warmth and trustworthiness. Your audience will be put at ease and feel more relaxed and open. Smiling changes your whole persona and has a knock-on effect, if you are smiling you tend to make others smile. Much like how a yawn is contagious.

6.      Posture – If you are standing to give a presentation or speech, stand with your shoulders back and chin up, this will convey confidence and also frees your diaphragm which will help to keep your voice loud and clear.

Bonus Tip: Film yourself giving your presentation or speech so you can see how you are gesturing, the facial expressions you are making, and any bad habits you may be displaying without even realising it. Most of us are self-critical when watching ourselves back on film, so try not to be too hard on yourself.

 

Written by Sarah English for Birmingham Speakers Club - 08 September 2020.

BISC on Zoom

Birmingham International Speakers (BISC) held only their second Zoom based meeting on Wednesday 10th June with coaching and tips on speeches of persuasion.

We consider public speaking as involving relatively new communication skills but we went back as far as Aristotle to understand the power of crafted speeches, especially if you want the listeners to agree with a point of view.

Some 12 members attended and we also welcomed several guests.

Aristotle at the Academy

Aristotle’s “Three Musketeers” for the persuasive speaker are logos, pathos and ethos. That is, the appeal to reason, the appeal to emotion and the appeal based on the moral character of the speaker, respectively.

The success of Aristotle’s techniques may be judged by the fact that his work Rhetoric remained the standard text on the subject for centuries. Or perhaps it may be judged by the achievements of his pupil Alexander, whose leadership skills enabled him to conquer most of the then known world.

We cannot promise to help you build an empire but we can help you to build your confidence and develop your leadership skills.

The POWERtalk Great Britain Blog is listed on the Top 10 UK Public Speaking Blogs.

If you are interested in finding out more about BISC fill out our query form.

POWERtalk Stirling - First Meeting of Session

We have now entered our 38th year as a former International Toastmistress Club and now meet in the Allan Leisure Centre in Bridge of Allan.   At our meeting on 24th September Diana gave a humorous talk on "A Little Bit of Latin can be Fun", while Ruth led a discussion on the use of words and Terry challenged everyone with her topics.   Our next meeting will be in the Allan Centre on 15 October.   Join us for interesting, amusing, and stimulating confidence building.  For further information phone Nancy at 01259-742649